I was genuinely quite surprised at other people's behaviour during my first couple of weeks on crutches....
I found most, don't give way to you (I'm not saying that they should have to, but ?), in fact on more than one occasion I've found myself actually hobbling around them. They push past, to get past me, or worse then are the ones who race up behind you & then huff & puff irritably because you aren't going quickly enough.
Then there's the doors when you go into places, a few have seen me coming & held them open for me, but the majority don't. I have struggled & wobbled precariously to get doors open & then get through them, whilst people just watch or stare ! Or I've been following someone into the loo or shop & the person in front has just left the door to swing shut, without looking to see who is coming behind them. I've become a bit of a dab hand using my crutches like a door stop over the past couple of months after narrowly missing a broken nose !
My theory is somehow, when you are out & about on your crutches it's like you've put on an invisibility cloak or something. You do quite literally become invisible to some people I think.
The other funny thing was, I recently used a wheel chair to get around a supermarket with my step mum & the way that other people behaved then was hilarious. They stopped & stared at me, quite openly & brazenly, like I had two heads or something ! But did any of them care about how embarrassed they were making me feel, no of course they didn't. It was almost as though because I had something wrong that warranted me having to be in that wheelchair, it gave them a license to do it !
Did they speak to me ? No of course not. You don't have a voice if you're in a wheelchair I found my self thinking. When I got to the checkout with my step mum, the cashier actually ignored my attempts to pay her using my debit card! It was like she couldn't see me, but she could & I knew that she could.
I really couldn't believe in this day & age there are still so many prejudiced people walking around.
I also thought to myself how glad I was that this wasn't a permanent state that I was in, I felt lucky because eventually I will be able to walk around, the poor souls who are disabled permanently can't. They have to face this kind of stuff every single day of their lives I suspect. I was always brought up not to stare at people, my dad always told me off in fact if he caught me !
I think an experience like this type of injury really gives you an insight into how much more challenging life becomes with a disability.
So after 10 weeks of staying with my parents & having quite a bit of help from them, I am going home later this week, to try to give it a go on my own & in my own home. It's a little daunting, my house is far from accessible & I'll need to change a few things around. It's not going to be easy physically, that I know. But I think what is more daunting is the prospect of spending so much time on my own, after the pretty much constant company I've been having. Of course people will come & visit me, but not every day or each weekend. I'm going to be spending a lot more time by myself & before 'the foot' I was happy enough in my own company, but it was my choice then. If I wanted company I'd simply go out & get in the car & go & find some. When I return home this time, I can't. So I will be entirely reliant on other peoples timetables & their choice of when/if to come & see me.
Although I live in a town, walking into the centre on my own & on crutches is a terrifying prospect. Before 'the foot' I always walked the mile or so into town. I can't see me managing it at the moment. I know I can get cabs to the hospital & can use the home delivery services that most major supermarkets offer for food shopping, but I'll be quite reliant on prepared 'ready meals' I think. I'll need to get a home help or cleaner I've realised, my house is quite small & certainly not palatial, but I won't be able to use the washing machine on my own, hang my laundry out, hoover my carpets, wash my floors, iron my clothes etc. Then there's things like putting my dustbin's out on bin day, impossible at the moment !
The list goes on in my mind at the moment.
There's also my lovely dog, Hannah. I can't walk her whilst I'm still on crutches. I have a little tiny bit of a garden at home, but it's down steep concrete steps, she has cataracts so her vision is quite impaired & just letting her out there to go to the loo won't work. I can't clean up after her whilst I'm on crutches & certainly won't be confident about going down the steps to call her in at night. I wouldn't be able to help her at all should she take a tumble down the stairs, which worries me. So I'm hoping that my parents might keep hold of her for another few weeks, perhaps until I can at least weight bear.
I know that I've still got at least a couple more months of being on crutches & still quite a lengthy recovery beyond those, so I just think it's about time I got myself home & got on with looking after myself, with the foot !
I found most, don't give way to you (I'm not saying that they should have to, but ?), in fact on more than one occasion I've found myself actually hobbling around them. They push past, to get past me, or worse then are the ones who race up behind you & then huff & puff irritably because you aren't going quickly enough.
Then there's the doors when you go into places, a few have seen me coming & held them open for me, but the majority don't. I have struggled & wobbled precariously to get doors open & then get through them, whilst people just watch or stare ! Or I've been following someone into the loo or shop & the person in front has just left the door to swing shut, without looking to see who is coming behind them. I've become a bit of a dab hand using my crutches like a door stop over the past couple of months after narrowly missing a broken nose !
My theory is somehow, when you are out & about on your crutches it's like you've put on an invisibility cloak or something. You do quite literally become invisible to some people I think.
The other funny thing was, I recently used a wheel chair to get around a supermarket with my step mum & the way that other people behaved then was hilarious. They stopped & stared at me, quite openly & brazenly, like I had two heads or something ! But did any of them care about how embarrassed they were making me feel, no of course they didn't. It was almost as though because I had something wrong that warranted me having to be in that wheelchair, it gave them a license to do it !
Did they speak to me ? No of course not. You don't have a voice if you're in a wheelchair I found my self thinking. When I got to the checkout with my step mum, the cashier actually ignored my attempts to pay her using my debit card! It was like she couldn't see me, but she could & I knew that she could.
I really couldn't believe in this day & age there are still so many prejudiced people walking around.
I also thought to myself how glad I was that this wasn't a permanent state that I was in, I felt lucky because eventually I will be able to walk around, the poor souls who are disabled permanently can't. They have to face this kind of stuff every single day of their lives I suspect. I was always brought up not to stare at people, my dad always told me off in fact if he caught me !
I think an experience like this type of injury really gives you an insight into how much more challenging life becomes with a disability.
So after 10 weeks of staying with my parents & having quite a bit of help from them, I am going home later this week, to try to give it a go on my own & in my own home. It's a little daunting, my house is far from accessible & I'll need to change a few things around. It's not going to be easy physically, that I know. But I think what is more daunting is the prospect of spending so much time on my own, after the pretty much constant company I've been having. Of course people will come & visit me, but not every day or each weekend. I'm going to be spending a lot more time by myself & before 'the foot' I was happy enough in my own company, but it was my choice then. If I wanted company I'd simply go out & get in the car & go & find some. When I return home this time, I can't. So I will be entirely reliant on other peoples timetables & their choice of when/if to come & see me.
Although I live in a town, walking into the centre on my own & on crutches is a terrifying prospect. Before 'the foot' I always walked the mile or so into town. I can't see me managing it at the moment. I know I can get cabs to the hospital & can use the home delivery services that most major supermarkets offer for food shopping, but I'll be quite reliant on prepared 'ready meals' I think. I'll need to get a home help or cleaner I've realised, my house is quite small & certainly not palatial, but I won't be able to use the washing machine on my own, hang my laundry out, hoover my carpets, wash my floors, iron my clothes etc. Then there's things like putting my dustbin's out on bin day, impossible at the moment !
The list goes on in my mind at the moment.
There's also my lovely dog, Hannah. I can't walk her whilst I'm still on crutches. I have a little tiny bit of a garden at home, but it's down steep concrete steps, she has cataracts so her vision is quite impaired & just letting her out there to go to the loo won't work. I can't clean up after her whilst I'm on crutches & certainly won't be confident about going down the steps to call her in at night. I wouldn't be able to help her at all should she take a tumble down the stairs, which worries me. So I'm hoping that my parents might keep hold of her for another few weeks, perhaps until I can at least weight bear.
I know that I've still got at least a couple more months of being on crutches & still quite a lengthy recovery beyond those, so I just think it's about time I got myself home & got on with looking after myself, with the foot !
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