Well ! Where have I been ?
Apologies first of all, I know I've been a bit quiet, it's been a very tough couple of months........
So after my second operation on the 15th July, I got an infection in the wounds. Which set me back a few weeks. Innitially after the op I felt great. It turned out to be more complicated than planned, I needed some tendon repair & cleaning up which meant another 2 1/2 hrs under anaesthetic. But I felt good and after a couple of days & was looking forward to walking without my crutches relatively quickly. What actually happened was the two weeks planned holiday following the op were spent with me feeling quite ill & eventually not being able to walk at all.
It put me back,but all in all I got over it quite quickly,
What was harder was the walking & weaning out of the boot. I'm no wimp, but when I started to walk I couldn't believe how painful or difficult it was going to be, or was. I knew it wouldn't be straightforward but no body explained to me or prepared me for just how hard it would be. The initial disappointment was so hard..............
I tried to stand up, but I just couldn't. Taking the first few steps out of cast were petrifying. People just do not prepare you for it.
Dealing with my weakness, limp & the pain have been a huge problem. I suppose that maybe I've been hoping that when I came out of the boot I would walk normally. in fact I think I've been in some sort of denial for the last 5 months & was pinning my hopes on it all being fine once I got out of cast.
So when it happened, that is the failure & pain when trying to walk normally, I really struggled with facing up to just how serious this injury is. I didn't deal with it, I cried lots & pushed more & more, hoping for a breakthrough, it didn't happen.
Apologies first of all, I know I've been a bit quiet, it's been a very tough couple of months........
So after my second operation on the 15th July, I got an infection in the wounds. Which set me back a few weeks. Innitially after the op I felt great. It turned out to be more complicated than planned, I needed some tendon repair & cleaning up which meant another 2 1/2 hrs under anaesthetic. But I felt good and after a couple of days & was looking forward to walking without my crutches relatively quickly. What actually happened was the two weeks planned holiday following the op were spent with me feeling quite ill & eventually not being able to walk at all.
It put me back,but all in all I got over it quite quickly,
What was harder was the walking & weaning out of the boot. I'm no wimp, but when I started to walk I couldn't believe how painful or difficult it was going to be, or was. I knew it wouldn't be straightforward but no body explained to me or prepared me for just how hard it would be. The initial disappointment was so hard..............
I tried to stand up, but I just couldn't. Taking the first few steps out of cast were petrifying. People just do not prepare you for it.
Dealing with my weakness, limp & the pain have been a huge problem. I suppose that maybe I've been hoping that when I came out of the boot I would walk normally. in fact I think I've been in some sort of denial for the last 5 months & was pinning my hopes on it all being fine once I got out of cast.
So when it happened, that is the failure & pain when trying to walk normally, I really struggled with facing up to just how serious this injury is. I didn't deal with it, I cried lots & pushed more & more, hoping for a breakthrough, it didn't happen.
Hi Emma,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you posted. Don't feel so discouraged, this is part of the process. I've come to the conclusion that most people experience similar pain and symptoms of this injury, but each person perceives it differently. Hence, you read about posts of some people doing extremely well and some people doing not so well. It's all a matter of perspective. The one common thing is that it takes a long time to feel better.
This injury caused me so much anxiety and depression that I developed a jaw problem (from clenching) and chronic hives. I was itching to death and could not eat anything but soft foods. Add that to the foot injury and it felt like the sky was falling on my head.
After seeing a specialist and spending a couple grand, I resolved my jaw problem (thankfully). The hives are under control with Chinese medicine and Benadryl. The foot is still an issue, but with each passing day I think about it less and less.
If you let it, this injury will consume you. What I found that helped me was from time to time, I decided what my "normal" was. A month ago, my norm was limping around my house with rigid soled shoes. Three months ago, it was crutching everywhere and parking within twenty feet of everywhere I went. Today, my norm is to occasionally limp around my house barefoot to go to the bathroom. By accepting what my normal was at the time, I did not jump too far ahead and immediately expect a full recovery.
Do not hesitate to talk to a professional counsellor who specializes in anxiety. If unattended, anxiety always leads to depression, which will cause so many more problems. The psychological aspect of this injury is just as damaging as the injury itself.
I hope my words give you some comfort. Don't lose hope. You will get better.
Thanks for your wise words, I'm not good at asking for help & I do tend to internalise alot of my anxieties etc. I'm hoping I'm through the worst although the recent scare is a bit of a worry at the moment. The thing is, to the uneducated we have a broken foot, but no one really understands the complexities of a Lisfranc injury unless they've gone through it I've realised. But then how could they ? I didn't........
ReplyDeleteJust a suggestion...If the foot still feels awful when you step on it, you might talk to the therapist about "walking on eggs," meaning still using the crutches and putting very light pressure on the forefoot (once it's healed). That's what I had to do. I hated it, but now I see the benefit. I, too, was crushed when I tried to put weight on the foot in the doctor's office, and couldn't do it! He knew all the time that I wouldn't be able to, but didn't tell me!
ReplyDeleteIf it helps, it sounds like your experience is a lot like mine was. Slow, frustrating, and infuriating, but there really is light at the end of the tunnel!
Chris